Which would make for a funnier lede: comparing David Ortiz to Ed Sprague or comparing him to Mark Lemke? Considering Lemke’s .187 average with the Sox is better than what Ortiz is doing now, I’m going with Lemke.

That’s right, just six days after writing a LEEInks entry that suggested they bronze Jacoby Ellsbury’s cleats and send them to Cooperstown (his hitting streak was broken hours later), I am officially writing the “they’ve got to do something about Ortiz” entry.

This isn’t exactly a ground-breaking entry, I know. There have been conspiracy theories and potential solutions to Boston’s DH problem since the early stages of Papi’s slump. Here are a few that I find most interesting.

Bleacher Report has a pretty interesting piece that questions whether or not booing Ortiz would be beneficial to the Sox and their struggling slugger. At first thought the idea seems ridiculous, but just remember that Yankee Stadium booed Derek Jeter out of his ’04 slump.

Bill Simmons writes in ESPN: The Magazine that Ortiz may be lying about his age. I know, I know: Feeding the Monster said that Theo and Bill James looked into that before they signed him. Simmons has it covered. Damn sports guy.

Meanwhile, the rumors continue to swirl regarding who the Sox might acquire to solve the DH problem for at least the rest of the season. In all honesty, has anyone heard of a potential deal they would like the Sox to do? Victor Martinez would command too much, Jeff Francoeur might be the hitting equivalent of Daisuke Matsuzaka as far as being frustrating to watch goes, and here’s the latest one: Corey Hart. People like him for his speed, but if you ask me (I know, you didn’t), the guy’s little more than a Wily Mo Pena impersonator at the plate. All power, no average.

Then there’s the questing of what should happen to Ortiz himself. The airwaves and blogosphere seem to be taking a liking to the idea of sending him down to the minors, but the idea of Ortiz failing to produce at Triple-A is probably scarier than him not hitting major-league stuff.

Bottom line, if there’s a solution out there, it hasn’t surfaced yet. Until it does, it would be shocking to see Theo take the wrong deal for the wrong guy. Your thoughts, Red Sox Nation?

Terry Francona didn’t hold back at all when telling WEEI’s Dale and Holley that he won’t miss the Metrodome.  His streaking center fielder might disagree with him.

Jacoby Ellsbury continued to use the rug to his advantage last night, going 2-for-4 in his third consecutive multi-hit game in Minnesota. Think the Twins are wishing they could have closed that Santana deal with the Sox?

Just as impressive as his carreer-long 22-game hit streak his the fact that Ellsbury now has 19 multi-hit games this season, good for fifth in the AL.  Nearly a quarter of those games (4) have come against the Twins, with Ellsbury only facing Minnesota five times going into the season finale between the two teams today at 1 p.m.  

Now, wading past all the statistics (here’s a nit-picky one for balance: shouldn’t a guy hitting .307 have an OBP a little higher than .338?) there’s one thing that’s on everybody’s mind that few are willing to admit: surprise.

We all knew about Jacoby before he made his Sox debut. We all watched him in the College World Series when the first Johnny Damon comparisons were drawn. We anxiously checked box scores as he tortured the minors. By the time he had made his impact in ’07, we had free tacos on him.

 There was even confusion in Red Sox Nation when Coco Crisp was retained for the 2008 season. But, as is the case in Boston, patience began running out when Ellsbury couldn’t buy a hit in a season in which he was heavily favored to follow in Dustin Pedroia’s footsteps as AL Rookie of the Year.

Francona said after Ellsbury’s first major-league hit (a routine grounder to short that he beat out for an infield single) that speed doesn’t slump. Heading into to the ’08 season, many would agree with him until they saw Ellsbury prove the theory wrong. Ellsbury’s .212 average through the season’s first 15 games (3 of which he led off) was hardly impressive, but coming of a World Series title (and given Pedroia’s slow start to his rookie campaign), the naysayers were minimal.

As time went on things barely improved.  After playing 67 games, what once looked like the future of the franchise was hitting a lowly .259 on July 25. The Red Sox now faced a problem that they had grown accustomed to for a short stretch in 2003 and throughout most of 2006 and 2007: they had a leadoff hitter that they liked (Damon, Crisp, and Julio Lugo, respectively) but couldn’t afford to leave him struggling at the top spot. Then, like Damon did in ’03, Ellsbury turned it around just as fast as he swiped home off Andy Pettite.

Beginning August 30, Ellsbury went on a tear in which he hit .369 and finished the season with a .280 average– pretty incredible considering his early-season woes.  We know the rest of the story. Coco finally gets traded and Jacoby gets the job to himself. 

That takes us to late March of this year, when fantasy drafts were done and every baseball nerd frantically tried trading half the players they had taken just days earlier. Here’s a conversation I had while trying to buy low on the Sox’ leadoff hitter.

       Me: I know you’ll lose his steals so I’ll give you Michael Bourn.

       Ellsbury-owner: Bourn won’t get as many steals. Look, Ellsbury probably won’t hit but he could lead the league in steals.

Steals. That’s what was expected from Jacoby, and that comment was coming from not only one of the world’s biggest baseball nerds but a huge Ellsbury fan. Now that he’s proven his worth as a hitter, Ellsbury is giving the Red Sox something they haven’t had since Damon and fantasy geeks another topic of conversation.

Now that Ellsbury is hitting, it is clear that he was well worth the wait and every dime that Fenway vendors made last year on his red arm sleeves. Red Sox hitting coach Dave Magadan deserves all the credit in the world for the extensive work he has done with Ellsbury.

It may have taken him a year longer than everyone thought, but Jacoby Ellsbury has finally arrived at the table of the league’s premier leadoff hitters.

Thought Jonathan Papelbon and Manny Delcarmen had you in stitches last year with their “Blame it on the Rain” remake? Check out what USF and UConn did when a five-hour rain delay was forced upon them Thursday during the Big East Tournament.

For comparison, here’s the Papelbon/Delcarmen video.

Jonathan Papelbon and Manny DelCarmen – “Blame It on the Rain”

Looks like USF beat them all.

Yes, for those of you who are taking the “root against a Kobe/LeBron Finals” stance, last night was a tough one. However, if you foolishly began texting each and every “Witness” you knew exactly one second too early, as the awful, Cetera-less 80′s Chicago would say, “You’re Not Alone.”

While it’s sad to see The Garden closed, you have to give credit where credit is due. It’s still not the most insane shot C’s fans have seen him take, though.

My question is this: had LeBron missed that shot do you think he still would have rushed to Craig Sager and told him how “great” a call the refs made on his fourth-quarter travel?

Johan Santana and his Mets rolled into Fenway Friday night and it wasn’t long before the Dennis-Eckersley’s-new-word hit the fan.

With the Mets on top, 4-3, in the bottom of the fifth inning, Santana plunked New York beanbag Kevin Youkilis. As WEEI.com’s  Alex Speier documented at the time, the location of the pitch was hardly suspect given Youkilis’ tendency of crowding the plate. Nevertheless, the Sox first baseman reacted in typical fashion– by jawing his way to first.

Santana took exception and after the game played the “I’m a gamer” card. Always a safe choice (for those not named Kellen Winslow Jr.). Youkilis, meanwhile, said that he did not think Santana was trying to hit him, and proclaimed that he was merely joking.

Regardless of location or intention, the play was certainly evocative of another heated at-bat versus a New York pitcher, and I don’t mean Scott Proctor.

MLB has restricted the circulation of the video of Joba throwing at Youk’s head twice in ’07, so this will have to suffice.

It seems that whenever we’re talking about a beaning in Boston these days, Youkilis is at the center of it.  So doesn’t it come as a surprise that on the list of active leaders in HBP, Youk sits in a tie for 85th place with 47?

Among the surprising players ahead of him:

–Reed Johnson (95), who broke into the majors a year before Youk but has never played 145 games in a season, though he has come close.

– Old friend Alex Cora (81), who at the age of 33 has only reached the 145-game mark once. Youkilis has played at least 145 games every year since 2006.

–Youngsters Rickie Weeks (62) and Grady Sizemore (53), both of whom are currently just 26 years old.

With the news of Jake Peavy’s decision to nix a deal that would have sent him to the White Sox, one’s mind can’t help but wander to other instances in which players exercised either a no-trade clause or 10-5 rights.

Peavy’s refusal (which, according to WEEI.com’s Rob Bradford, would not have been a concern for the Red Sox) marks the third time since 2005 that the Padres have agreed to a trade, only to have it squashed by the player they were dealing. Phil Nevin killed a trade to the Orioles that would have landed Sidney Ponson in San Diego, and remember how close Boston was to beginning the Brian Giles era?

If early blogs are any indication, White Sox fans aren’t happy. Cubs fans can empathize if they choose to do to so, but on a much lower level. In 2003 the Cubs tried to load up for what proved to be a built-to-spill postseason run by re-acquiring Rafael Palmeiro.  The slugger turned down the deal, period.

Squashed deals break a fan’s heart. However, it’s not always such a bad thing.

#1 Trade Red Sox Fans Probably Wish was Vetoed (Note: this only applies to deals that a player could have vetoed.)

RANGERS GET:  Kason Gabbard, David Murphy, Engel Beltre

RED SOX GET: Eric Gagne

This was one that Sox fans were actually concerned might not happen back at the ’07 deadline.  Gagne was a legitimate candidate to kill this deal for two reasons: 1) He had a “games finished” incentive in his contract that wouldn’t be reached as a set-up man; and 2) He had taken the one-year deal in Texas so he could re-establish himself as a closer for the season. The Sox eventually paid him the $2.5 million he would have gotten from the incentive and Gagne agreed to come to Boston.  Then Eric Gagne in Boston happened.

The Sox brass didn’t give up much — Gabbard is now back in the Sox system, Murphy never had a place in Boston, and Beltre has yet to display an ability to get on base at a decent clip in A-ball — and they ended up getting a compensation pick (RHP Bryan Price) when Gagne left for the Brewers, but all in all, Gagne preemptively crushing this thing could have saved Yawkey Way a headache.

It’s only May and we’ve already gotten our first sniff of a blockbuster deal. The season for rumor-mongering is officially underway.

Selena Roberts, currently of A-Rod/steroids fame, joined WEEI’s Dennis and Callahan this morning to discuss her controversial book, A-Rod: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez.

During the discussion she noted that one of Rodriguez’ more admirable qualities is the fact that he is a “man who wants to be loved.”  Rumor has it Kate Hudson is doing what she can to satisfy said need.

How does Madonna feel about this? And if Rodriguez is really after the love Roberts claims he is seeking, he sure wasn’t getting it from the Fenway Faithful following this 2007 report in the Post.

Affairs aside, it isn’t just what he does on his own time that has stained A-Rod’s character.  Even before word of his positive test, the three-time MVP’s sportsmanship was questionable at best. Given Rodriguez’ track record, I would direct you to the nearest Barnes and Noble for the full documentation,  but here’s a couple of the classics.

Remember May 30, 2007?

Anyone out there believe he said “ha?”

(For what it’s worth, this incident happened the same day that the previously-referenced “Stray-Rod” story ran in the Post.  Tough day, huh?)

Meanwhile, some people are still making money off his famous Game 6 ball-slap.

As for this season, one could argue that from a psychological standpoint, the hip cyst that kept Rodriguez out until May 8th was a blessing, with potential for the PR flames to die down by the time of his return.  Unfortunately for him, not even the news of Manny Ramirez’ suspension could take the spotlight off Rodriguez, who has slugged five homers in 11 games since coming off the DL. Joel Sherman just hopes he’s doing it clean in today’s Post.

A-Rod’s been in the spotlight since he was a kid. Apparently, he’s not leaving it anytime soon.