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What’s your Sports Twi-Q? Episode 3 09.15.10 at 11:50 am ET
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Welcome back to “Name that Tweet”–the game show where everybody’s a loser (including the host)! If you didn’t catch the first or second episode, here’s the deal: An athlete or celebrity posted the following 140-character thought on his/her twitter account over the last week. It’s your job to figure out who produced these Shakespearean efforts.

1. “I can’t believe September is here, crazy! This is always my favorite time of year, I’m lovin’ it :)”

Landon Donovan or Queen Latifah?

Landon plays for the Galaxy, kicking balls. Latifah is as big as a galaxy, kicking rhymes. Donovan reportedly fathered a child out of wedlock, but I’m guessing Queen isn’t the mother, since she, ahem, lives with a personal trainer named Jeannette.

Answer: Click here.

2. “We lost our first game Cowboys?!?!?!?.I have carpet burn!”

Martellus Bennett or Jessica Simpson?

They’re two of Tony Romo’s favorite tight ends. Romo dumps Simpson the night before her birthday, and he dumps it to Bennett on Sundays. Martellus gets carpet burn from the Cowboys Stadium turf. Jessica gets carpet burn from, well, use your imagination.

Answer: Click here.

3. “how good of a job was it for the guy who just talked in a deep voice in all the boyz 2 men songs?”

Andy Roddick or Jennifer Hudson?

Roddick dates Brooklyn Decker, and Hudson eats double-decker sandwiches. Roddick smashes overhands, and Hudson smashes cheeseburgers. OK, OK, enough fat jokes. How about this: She took home an Oscar for Dreamgirls, and he just takes home dream girls.

Answer: Click here.

4. “Who watched the VMA’s? How funny was the little intro skit? Restraining orders never stops me! LOL

Terrell Suggs or Kim Kardashian?

Both legitimately have experience with restraining orders. Terrell had one taken out on him; Kim took one out on a stalker. Oh, and they’ve both been on top of Reggie Bush.

Answer: Click here.

5. ” Yeahhhh the bears won, I might do a superbowl shuffle. Haha”

Danica Patrick or R. Kelly?

Both Illinois natives, these two have a ton in common. As a NASCAR driver, Patrick is a girl among men; meanwhile, Kelly is a man among girls. Danica dresses up and poses for Go Daddy, while R. makes girls dress up, pose and call him daddy. Kelly recorded “Trapped in the Closet”, and Patrick just might be trapped in the closet? They’re practically the same person.

Answer: Click here.

Thanks for playing again, folks. Two more terrible Twitter puns this week: If you got four or more wrong, you’re a Twignoramus; if you got four or more right, you’ve got Twisdom. Until next week, and, as Ron Burgundy said, “Stay classy” New England!

Read More: Andy Roddick, Brooklyn Decker, Danica Patrick, Jennifer Hudson